So it begins, the audition process for drama schools, the rigorous and frightening journey ,that queit frankly is making me feel a little numb and light headed.
After months of analyzing texts,reading the whole of the national book shop, becoming a part of actors center and being involved in a production of Turn of the screw,whilst auditioning for random things like TITANIC the broadway musical and at the same time learning my speeches so much that i literally fall asleep muttering my lines. The time had come to say, yes frances your ready to break the ice and dive in to .... AUDITIONS.
The first audition was for Bristol Old Vic,it was last wednesday the 3 of December, i have never felt so scared, driving their listening to magic with my mum blurting out all the classic love songs to distract me from the intense longing and fear within me.
I remember driving past a huge sign that said believe in miracles and me and my mum just burst out laughing, well we all have to believe don't we, without faith or hope nothing drastic would ever happen.
I arrived their a little too early so i decided to go to the zoo near by the school, cos after all one of my speeches is about bonobos so i thought i should try and see if i could see one ( their like chimps) but i couldn't, afterwards my mum left me in the car to go over my speeches and to re play my singing lesson so i could warm my voice up.I stared into the car mirror and felt a weird sense of pain, for it is only the beginning of what i know is going to be a long road.
So it was 4 o clock and time to go in, that odd numbing feeling cast itself over my body as i sat in a small room with a circle of chairs, a boy and girl talking at one side of the room, and another very intense boy sitting listening to his i pod- i liked the look of him, he looked hardcore! Especially later when i head him go in before me- he sang the bitch of living, weird i listened to that song just before on my i pod and now it echoed through the walls almost comforting me.
Anyway as he went in i got speaking to the others, i found myself reassuring them and being surprisingly confident when inside i just wanted to crawl into a whole and wake up next year knowing were my life will be, but then i looked at my phone- the background says - be brave take risks and allow the unexpected, so i reassured my self it would be ok, i was called in early this nice women took me in and i was introduced to another very jolly man who would be the other auditioner. I sat down and i spoke about my past experience, being truly mad but as i have been told i was JUST MYSELF( the amount of times people have said just be you is now getting silly, so i was just me, for after all you have to go to the school that fits you, not the school that just has the best reputation.
I did my speeches, i thought i did ok,got nice feedback ,the man even laughed at my Shakespeare( i didn't realize i was being funny)and my song felt really good i found myself singing it just like i do in the shower- don't no if thats a good thing, but it sure felt good! but of course i spent the whole journey home analyzing every detail, certain i would not get a recall as bristol has only two rounds, my poor mum longing for me to be quiet, so we put the music back on and sang and i felt much better.
By the time i got home i just went straight to bed after watching sex in the city and reading a bit of my Shakespeare book by julian curry- its really good full of famous actors accounts of what it was like working on each play.
The next two days of waiting were agony i had to keep myself busy-seeing friends, going to guildhalls open day which was btw so nice, the buzz and the energy the school creates made me feel instantly at home and i want to just stay their for ever but instead i tripped up in the big hall right in-front of everyone , really cool ! lol
I was on the train coming home stressing about my RADA audition which is (the next day) when i got an email from Julia, who's Julia, i didn't think anything of it,but pressed it out of pure curiosity-OMGOOMG it was from Bristol Old Vic i have been asked to come back for a recall workshop and am so excited ,i sat on the train beaming wanting to scream,i tried to ring my mum but i couldn't get through to anyone TIPCAL, so i sat their sitting like i needed to wet myself as my whole body and face quivered with sheer delight- but at the same time i feel to scared to be super excited cos it is only half way, but still it feels wonderful!
But after that i had to calm down as RADA was the next day, RADA the place i have dreamed about since i knew what acting was even though i used to call it RADAR (dyslexic!) thankfully i now no the right name! after celebrating my family friends birthday with pear and cinnamon cake-which i made ( good tip baking is good to distract yourself) and then watching a bit of friends i went up to my bed room to sleep. I couldn't sleep though all night worrying and hoping for a good day at RADA- however i quiet simply was just having an awful night sleep- really annoying as i wanted to be on top form, eventually i got to sleep but i had a night mare about being late for RADA and missing the audition not exactly the most comforting dream. I then got up spoke to my mum and had some choco curl cereal and dashed off into the early mourning.
Surprisingly i felt quiet calm and ready just wanted to keep myself grounded and not think of the horrible statistics against me. Focus on the positive after all my lovely friend Paris got in, and so it does happen!
I got their and it was only 8 20 the school hadn't even opened typical , uber keen, then Sally Power arrived, looked at me oddly as i had been standing their in my huge fluffy hat and listening to matilidas-quiet- and miming the words to myself to keep me calm. she realized i was an auditioning, told me to be quiet and follow her and wait for the lady to open the doors.
I got in and sat down, got out my big red audition folder and read through the audition procedure again and tried to stay focussed on the goal.
Another girl came, i liked her straight away and turns out she is friends with some of my old friends, small world ey!
more and more people came and i felt the tension but i just thought oh well lets just enjoy myself, its not often you can perform in-front of such wonderful people like RADA teachers, we all then went into a room and sat around a table and had to fill in some forms- one when we had to write the pieces we do (oh god and i cant spell trollies , and i think i may have spelt Shakespeare wrong), god i hate being dyslexic sometimes!
After this a graduate went to take us to our rooms in the other building to be auditioned, i was second, oooh! first girl! scary stuff, but i just thought no i want this and its going to be ok, even if its not it doesn't matter ,well it does to me, but it wont be the end of the world.
So i went in, spoke a bit to them, tried to be as relaxed as possible and talk to them just like i would my teacher,Even mentioned i am working as an ELF this Christmas, well i always think its nice to have a laugh because it calms me into the audition process, then into the acting, it went alright i would say. The second one was better. Were as in Bristol the first was better , nevertheless we are only human we cant repeat the same again and again. They did say my second one was too long though and didn't ask to see my other Shakespeare which i have no idea weather or not this is good or bad and is kinda freaking me out now i think about it, again and again, oh god i hate being so analytical. Well anyway now i am writing this and not going to hear back till next tuesday which is my audition at oxford school of drama, so i will write back then, or earlier if i have news.
Keeping my fingers crossed, i want it so much i have given my heart into it and lets hope something will come out of the hard work and passion <3
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